Do you live in one of those neighborhoods where people seem to have nothing better to do than talk about crap they know nothing about? Are your neighbors consumed with story telling and passing on gossip which is founded upon facts which exist only in their own imaginations? Are you just plain tired of being the subject of baseless speculation and malicious lies? There's a solution you can employ to take the situation, have some fun with it and make your life a bit more interesting. This exercise may not put a lid on the story tellers, but it will definitely put you in more control of that gossip.
Have two or three of your tallest friends dress in black suits, white shirts, narrow black ties and very dark sunglasses. Have them arrive at your home during a time when there will be no doubt that the neighborhood meddlers are watching. Your friends should arrive in a late model, full size sedan of dark color. The affect is even better if they arrive in a black Chevy Suburban. Be ready to meet your friends on your driveway when they arrive. Wait until they exit the vehicle and then stroll out to meet them, carrying a
silver briefcase out of the house with you.
When you meet on the driveway, set the brief case down and clasp your hands in front of you. Say a couple sentences to whoever looks the most commanding, shake hands with each of them and then casually walk back to the house. Your friends should take possession of the brief case, preferably handcuffing it to one of them. They should do one slow visual scan of the neighborhood, return to their vehicle and then slowly leave the area without laughing.
The whole exercise should take only a couple minutes, but the effect will last for years. Perhaps you won't ever get the gossipers, story tellers and liars to shut their mouths, but at least you can take charge of the situation and give them something really juicy to talk about while making them look like the
total jackasses they are. It's fun and easy to play with the minds of gossipers because they'll believe almost anything. Give 'em something to talk about. You'll be glad you did!
Judi Roaman: We Talk Endlessly About the Next President,…
Reader comments (Page 1 of 1)
You can always carry on loud arguments with your wife in pig latin about the nosy neighbor's latest gossip.
ReplyWe also have a toddler, so we have this habit of spelling out words the child shouldn't hear. Words like "C-o-o-k-i-e" and "n-a-p". Use these words in common conversation while you can be overhead, but insist on spelling them out.
That's funny. I would love to do something like that! Add a little mystery to your life and see how fast the rumors spread.
ReplyHere's another you could do.
ReplyOn garbage day, when you have your rolling dumpster out at the end of the driveway, walk calmy down to it wearing blue surgical gloves, and make a display of taking them off and putting them in the dumpster, bonus points if you stain them with red food coloring first.
You could get a visit from the police, but as long as you're calm and explain you wanted to freak out the gossiping neighbors you should be fine.
(I got this idea from the last time I was in a large city, I saw a guy in an all black buisness suit, come out of an alley way, take off a pair of blue surgical gloves, and dump them in a dumpster. I watched for a few moments, and saw him turn down the next alley... kinda freaky.)
Move into a military neighborhood. Talk about wives with nothing to do. Keywords for drama: ARMY WIVES
Reply