Skip to main content

Kill your laptop

Filed Under: computers and internet, geek it yourself

Now why would anyone want to kill an innocent laptop? Simple. The current technology is better, faster, and quieter. Affordable, too. Yet maybe you can't justify shelling out for a new machine while your old one continues to perform as slowly and faithfully as an old dog. Or maybe you can justify it, but your Significant Other argues it's beyond the family's means. Yes, it's an evil plan to be sure. Put your laptop out of its misery today, and tomorrow you can merrily trot out and purchase something better. No one need ever know the truth! (Evil laughter)

The best starting point comes courtesy of the UK paper The Register. This publication's website has two handy articles on the subject worth checking out. First up: "Ten ways to kill your laptop." Second: "102 ways to kill your computer." The suggestions here are good for entertainment value and maybe inspiration, but they're not the most subtle. For instance, I'm not sure my Significant Other would believe it if I told him my trusty yet aging Dell died due to my accidentally dropping it off a bridge or down a stairwell. You, too? Okay, so now we turn to the definitive resource: "How to destroy your computer," on the site Dan's Data. This is where you'll find the evil advice you seek: how to off your computer in a way that won't be detected by your (non-techie) loved ones. Muahahahahahaha!


  • Xette

    For laptops, pop your laptop in your handy dandy MICROWAVE for 10 seconds!! Or when you hear disturbingly loud crackling noises. Whichever comes first.

    [This idea comes from a friend who actually had the balls to do this to his Macbook Air in order to exchange it for a new one.]

  • 1 Comments / 1 Pages

Add Your Comments

  • New Users
  • Returning

If you are posting a comment for the first time, please enter your name and email address in the fields above. Your name will be displayed with your comment. Your email address will never be displayed.

Add Your Comment

Please keep your comments relevant to this blog entry. Email addresses are never displayed, but they are required to confirm your comments.

When you enter your name and email address, you'll be sent a link to confirm your comment, and a password. To leave another comment, just use that password.

To create a live link, simply type the URL (including http://) or email address and we will make it a live link for you. You can put up to 3 URLs in your comments. Line breaks and paragraphs are automatically converted — no need to use <p> or <br /> tags.


Follow Us

  • No features currently available.

  • More Hot Topics The Daily Fix  •  DIY Warrior  •  Home Ec  •  Handmade
    DIY Disaster Doctor  •  In the Workshop  •  Product Picks

    Home Improvement Videos