Teenagers assert their independence in a variety of ways. I truly believe that the ones that aren't putting them in danger should be encouraged. This holds true for room decor
. Give them some authority over their bedroom and the way it's decorated, no matter how hideous! A teenager won't feel relaxed in a space that was decorated by Mom for the ballet-loving daughter she knew 8 years ago. They will feel more comfortable and more empowered if you let them take the reigns and make the room more personal.
This doesn't mean that you should hand her a can of black spray paint and let her mood guide the decor. There is a middle ground that you can both live with. Teenage taste changes weekly, so it can be hard to predict what she'll want, but this article will give you a place to start
. It lets us in on what teenagers really want in their rooms: storage and sanctuary are high priorities.
Get your teenager involved, and it could be a fun project to work on together. Work together to clean the room first. If you can, sort things in a separate space and bring them back in one by one. Once you know what there is to store, make sure that there is ample space for it. Too often parents neglect to plan a room with storage and are forever frustrated that things end up all over the floor. Built in storage and walk in closets are high on the list of what teenagers want in their room.
When it comes to creating a sanctuary, consider a seating area and workspace. Give her the things she needs to make it like a mini-dorm, but not so much that she never surfaces for dinner or to go on the computer! Let her choose the paint color, but you should choose the tone. You don't want something that will be too dark or will need to be re-done in a few months. While she'll need to compromise with you a bit on the color, let her have ultimate authority over other less-permanent decisions. Covering the wall in posters, or choosing a funky bedspread will go a long way but will be more easily undone when she changes her style.