DIY Life

OK, as we all know the economy is in a downward spiral. The housing market is so far down the drain you can't even get at it with a plunger. The dollar has fallen farther and faster than Elliot Spitzer's trousers at a gentleman's club.

The only thing rising is gas prices. (Think mushroom cloud here) As a result we are all scrambling to find new and exciting ways to pinch pennies hard enough to make Abe Lincoln cry.

I used to do a lot of work on my previous car myself to save some money back in the day. When my wife and I purchased our '05 Touareg from VW I decided that with the new car, vast jumps forward in technology, and our economic stability, I would let the dealership deal with all the issues that arose. As economic fortunes have turned I have decided to start doing some easier things myself. Ooops...

When a warning alarm went off and the car told me to check my lights I did so. Turned out both of the front parking lights had burned out. Not a big deal, so I put it off until I also needed to change the oil again. I was feeling lazy and took it to my dealership. When I dropped the car off I asked for a quote to replace the lights as well. The service adviser proceeded to tell me that it would be $50 per light in labor to replace them! WHAT?!?! I decided that the oil change could fly, but that I would replace the bulbs myself.

Feeling all manly, and sure that I had avoided being ripped off, I proceeded to Kragen Auto Parts to get the bulbs after I had picked the car up after its oil change. $4 later, I was the proud owner of the bulbs I needed. I drove home and waited for the engine to cool down before I set to work on replacing the bulbs.

The driver side light was tough to reach, but in the end it took all of 15 minutes to get the old one out and replace it with the new one. "Ha!" I thought. There's $50 saved!

The passenger side looked tougher. I couldn't reach it though the engine compartment because the air filter for the intake assembly was blocking it. I looked in the wheel well as an option to gain access. I had to remove all 13 (like that wasn't a big enough clue as to what I was going to be in for!) fasteners to pull off the shroud in the wheel well. After the shroud was off I could see where I had to go to get the old bulb out. It looked tight but do-able. After a few minutes of trying to reach in from one side of the frame brace, I realized I would have to reach around the brace to get to the bulb. I tried to cram my hand in between the brace and the filter assembly, but it wouldn't fit. I went back into the engine compartment and loosened a bolt holding the filter assembly to the frame. It was still a tight fit, but I could barely reach the bulb socket. Unfortunately for me, I couldn't release the clip so I could pull the socket out.

At this point I muttered a few choice four letter words, and then called for my darling 8 year old daughter. She tried valiantly for several minutes to undo the clip as well, but while her hand was small enough to reach the socket, she lacked the finger strength to pop the clip free. I was proud of the effort she put out though.

After she went back in the house to watch more SpongeBob, I tried again to use my own meat hooks to get the job done. Eventually I used one hand (well bruised and scraped from forcing it into the cramped space) and a screwdriver wedged in the frame to release the clip. Yay me!

After yanking the old bulb I tried to put in the new wedge base bulb. It was all going so well until I dropped the bulb onto the frame support. Turns out the frame brace is channeled, and the bulb rolled down into a spot where I couldn't get it. A few more four letter words, and then I packed the kids into the car and shot off to the auto parts store to get another pack of bulbs.

Good thing they come in 2-packs because I again dropped a bulb while trying to put it in. The third time was the charm though, and I got it in. I spent 20 minutes putting the socket and shroud back in place. There was a mix-up in which screw went where and the order of screw re-installation that caused a few moments of cursing as I realized that 1 screw was slightly different in size than the rest, and that I would have to re-install all those screws in a order that was way different than the order in which I had removed them.

So 2½ hours after I started I had finally managed to change both bulbs. Let me recap for you the pros and cons of this little adventure:

Pros: 1. Saved $100 in labor costs.

2. Got to use every curse word I know, and managed to invent a few new ones. "Raga-flagga-blagga" is my new favorite.

3. My daughter showed interest in car repair, and I got to spend a few minutes bonding with her while she tried to cram her little hand into the frame of the car.

Cons: 1. Spent twice the amount on parts. O.K. that only means I spent an extra $4, but really, the extra trip to the auto parts store was quite frustrating.

2. Scraped all the skin off of 1 knuckle, scraped 3 other spots on my hand, and bruised my forearm forcing it into the space between the frame and the air intake assembly.

3. Got so frustrated that I considered whacking the car repeatedly with my framing hammer.

4. Spent 2½ hours in the garage instead of with my kids having fun.

All in all I would have to say that the $100 I saved would have been better spent getting the car fixed professionally instead of me injuring myself and blowing an evening that could have been spent with the kids!

The lesson I learned here is that if something sounds more expensive that it should be, find out why. If I had just had the service adviser show me how hard it would be to get the passenger side light done, I would have been happy to let the paid mechanic sweat and swear over the replacement instead of torturing myself and my daughter with it.