DIY Life

Bring a little edge to your personality. Make people respect you, dammit! Master the art of evil laughter, a timeless mannerism designed to shock and intimidate your foes into fearful submission. Beautifully concise instructions for the beginner can be found at wikiHow. Here's the basic procedure:

1. Cultivate an evil attitude. Yes, you're a very nice person, but for this to work you must look and feel convincingly evil. If you're really too nice to actually think evil thoughts, just pretend you're a famous movie bad guy/gal. Like Batman's nemesis, the Penguin.

2. Adopt the stance of evil. Cock your eyebrow and look maniacal. The latter is best achieved by acting as though anyone else in the room has disappeared. Fix your eyes on a distant point. Do not make eye contact with those around you. Remember: you're absorbed in evil thoughts right now!

3. Perfect pitch. Go for a high-pitched or low-pitched laugh. Choose one and stick with it for a convincing performance. Here's what you're aiming for if you're going for low-pitch: a throaty "Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha!" High-pitched laughers should do a hysterical-sounding "Me-he-he-he-he!" Got it?

4. Practice in private. Yes, perfect those moves in front of a mirror. Use hand gestures if you think it helps. Oh, and use the Web. Clips on sites like You Tube will be invaluable to practice along to. Like this one and this one, for example. Light relief: check out some of the baby evil laughter, like this one.

Now say it loud: "Mua-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

So another weekend has rolled around. Here I am, at my computer, goofing off diligently planning my weekend house projects. What should I stumble upon, but this very funny clip on You Tube. The video was taken from Australian comedy show The Chaser's War on Everything. In it, a couple of guys play a cheeky stunt on local Ikea store employees: they intentionally assemble some Ikea furniture ridiculously badly, then take each item back and request refunds. Return items include a futon/bookshelf/side table combination. It's pretty funny watching the employees being all nice and polite about it.


According to Wikipedia entries about the show, The Chaser's War on Everything is the creation of a bunch of Aussie comedians. Apparently, they've gotten themselves into some hot water over the stunts they've pulled...stunts that make the Ikea gag look like child's play. Most notably, the team managed to breach tight security at the 2007 APEC meeting in Sydney by cruising through checkpoints in a totally fake motorcade. Once inside the security zone, cast member Chas Licciardello, exited one of the vehicles dressed as Osama bin Laden...and was promptly arrested. Norty, norty!

Stripping is not a skill all of us dream of perfecting. Let's face it, for many of us, keeping our clothes on goes hand in hand with keeping our jobs. However, if you happen to be a closet super-hero, or are aspiring to becoming a stripper, knowing how to disrobe in a quick fashion could be a serious career asset.

This video shows some serious advanced levels of losing one's clothes in just under two seconds. Yes, that's two. Seconds! I can't even don one sock in less than 20 seconds. I wonder just how long this performer worked on this skill and just he needs it. If you get inspired by the video, and don't plan on being a stripper or a flying super-hero, the skill might come in handy as a cool party trick.

It's easy-peasy to fix your own toilet once you get the hang of it. The most common problem involves weird flushing mishaps -- like the tank not filling, or the water running too long or not long enough. These are simple maintenance issues that anyone can handle. So before you call a plumber, roll up your sleeves and have a go!

Don't know your flapper from your float arm? Don't have the patience to wade through a 500-page repair manual? Consider getting tips online. Lowes has an excellent introduction to toilet repair in its "how-to" section, complete with a handy color diagram and a problem-solving section.

Another handy resource: instructional Web videos, like this one on YouTube. The best piece of advice in this particular video? If you're a beginner at toilet repair and if you're not sure exactly what the problem is, get one of those all-in-one-box repair kits. They have all the commonly used washers and other doodads included in the box. Trust me. It's totally likely that this kit will save you at least one additional -- not to mention frustrating -- trip to the hardware store this weekend!

Not all Halloween costumes are created equal, some take months of conception and design modification before they can make their debut on October 31. The couple in this video obviously have the right idea about their cool idea to create a werewolf costume. They are not starting with the furry mug but rather going for form.

This clever pair has conceived a pair of stilt like strap on shoes that tilt the man forward so that he appears to be a four legged creature walking on two hind legs. An ingenious approach to the costume. The woman narrates the video as she explains just how the constructed the stilts. They are bound to win a contest with this one!

Alarms, 2 way voice, video surveillance; you can ditch all these home security systems and follow Big Lou's advice for a DIY security system. Here's what you need:

1. Big boots
2. Large men's jacket
3. Gun and Riffle magazine
4. Beer

Curious about this odd combination of materials and how they come together to make one exceptionally reliable security system? Check out her video. Big Lou is a widowed mother of 4 teenage boys and the queen of DIY. Originally from New York, she takes care of all the repairs and maintenance in her Long Island home. She's gorgeous, tough and down right hilarious. Enjoy.